No
Illusions
I was
someone who didn’t believe. I didn’t grieve, which everyone thought would be
the response. Instead, I was happy, because I had changed into something
someone would recognize. Instead of believing in nature n’ all of it’s beauty,
I changed my thinking to a person that believes his word. I was assured by
everyone that I’d made the right decision. It’s me that’s not entirely sure,
because I’ve heard stories about people changing faiths, n’ they’re not happy
with their decision, so they return to their old faiths, the ones they knew
before the change. I’m not like that. I found that the new faith is so much
better, I’m not returning. I don’t have any illusion about changing my faith anymore.
My old faith is just an illusion now, nothing with form. © A Maynard, 4/23/12
Here I
Am
Here I
am, use me as your puppet, I’m willing to lower myself so I can perform your
great works with me as your vessel. Pretend like I’m a wave on the ocean, it’s
crest white with foam. The white crest is like my religious background. It was
dark n’ choppy, now it’s a bright white, with no disturbing things to be seen.
It might’ve been dirty n’ black, now it’s clean n’ white. Now that I’ve changed,
it feels like I’m a totally different person, now. © A Maynard, 4/23/12
Touch
Of His Hand
I was
the complete opposite of a Christian, I was like that for many years. I kept
the “faith” I was following for a total of 8 years. That time period really
changed how I thought. At first, I thought I was “caught up” doing the wrong
things, after a small bit of time, I realized what I was doing, n’ tried to
“fix” it. I couldn’t, because I didn’t know how to. After those 8 years, I
changed into someone that other people could understand. I figured it was time
to stand up for something, something I could understand. That way, I would know
what to say or do, without causing much confusion. Just the feeling of him being
around makes my day go more smoothly. When I can “feel” he’s around, I’m a
little calmer, because I can “feel” the touch of his hand, n’ that is the best
thing for me when I’m feeling bad, or stressed, or anything else. © A Maynard, 3/29/12
Steel Heart Before,
my heart was hard as steel, because I didn’t believe anything he said. Even if
I continually read his book, I still feel like I’m not doing the right thing. I
used to wear things with a lot of bling. I used to sing in the choir. After 1-2
days, they found that I have no ability to keep a note, so they told me to stop
the involvement in the choir. I took their advice n’ stopped going to choir
practice. © A Maynard, 4/2/12
Armageddon
I was
living a lie, I couldn’t ask myself why I was acting that way. I found the
reason one day when I discovered I was fighting in pitch-black conditions. I
turned on the light in that room, n’ found I wasn’t alone. A bright light shone
from the room next door. When I opened it, I found it to be the lord. I wasn’t
bored anymore, for I asked him many questions. One of them was why was he
carrying a sword with him? The answer was simple. He was going to do battle with
the evil one. That meant he would have to lunge n’ do other moves to avoid the
evil one’s attacks. He might play dirty n’ put a tack on the hardwood floor for
someone to step on. The hardwood floor would be terrible to step on, if that
was the case. In heaven, there are no floors to act as bases to put your foot
on. There’s not one place you haven’t risen yet, you might be scared because
you’re bringing the wrong thing in. you might get so scared, you’re staring into
space, trying to think of an explanation of what you’ve done. You realize what
you did was wrong, while you’re picturing you hearing a ding-dong, You’re
hearing nothing, though. Another good thing is that your foot won’t get dirty.
One of the better things of being in heaven is that you won’t be attacked with
a dirk. © A Maynard, 4/2/12
Engulfed
In
In the
past, I was an Athiest, engulfed in disbelief. As of now, I just don’t know,
because I don’t know what to believe. I didn’t want to go to church, because I
don’t know where I belong…I’ve been searching all my life, for what, I’ll never
know.
I’m
about to give it up, so I’m just gonna let it go… I’m engulfed in trepidation,
so I choose to be abrupt. Sometimes it’s hard to believe, but I don’t know what
for…because what if god’s just a lore? Find your morals in the bible, the book
that’s engulfed in trepidation. THEN WHY DO YOU BELIEVE? You fall to your knees
n’ pray every night before bed, you wake up n’ start sinning again, because
you’ve forgotten what you said… © A Maynard, 10/16/06 (engulf-total immersion
trepidation-curious, unsure)
I’m
Falling
I feel
like I’m losing control of myself. It seems like someone else has control, n’ I
know who that person is. It still feels
like the devil has control. Now that my life has changed, I feel much better,
like a weight has been lifted, n’ my soul can be free once more. I encountered
a problem like that before, once I got to that point, I met an old friend whose
name is Lee, He showed me a simpler way to ease the immense uncertainty I felt
at the time. The problem was I didn’t know where to go. My belief system is like
a band of nomads, believing one minute, not the next. There are some people I’d
like to see dead. If they were dead, I’d be the one to read the will. If they
owned a plot of farmland, I would fill their land with vegetables, not drugs
that can be grown. © A Maynard, 4/3/12
Running
Out Of Days
I’m
running out of days to honor your holy name. Now, life is just a game, I think
it’s a shame to think life is to blame. Because he came to forgive, not to
place the blame. If you do place the blame, he’ll make you feel real shame. If
you exemplify his name, he might do the same. He gives those worthy few the fame
they deserve, for they won’t burn in flames. Instead, they’ll feel the power of
your holy name. Those who lift his name on high won’t be sighing, because they
will experience the power of your holy name. Those few that honor your holy
name will feel no shame, until the last day, when Michelangelo blows his
trumpet to signal it’s the last day. © A
Maynard, 9/27/06 (exemplify= raise to a
higher level)
Open
Your Eyes
I had
my eyes closed for a long time. So long, some people thought I was the “living
dead” They thought of me as another religious “mistake”, because of my
instability of believing in him. when I had the strength to continue my
“eye-opening” journey, I also found that I wasn’t as closed-minded as I
thought. © A Maynard, 5/24/12
A
Second Chance
I had
my second chance after college. At first, I thought I’d made the best decision.
I’d thought since I decided to let you go for a while, I did forget you
somewhat, I didn’t forget about you completely, though. While I decided to let
you go, I made a decision to follow a faith based on nature. I decided to
return to Christianity 8 years later. When I returned to Christianity, I
started to get serious about Christianity, n’ started to go to church again.
When I did that, I began to sin again. Now I show true appreciation for that
second chance. © A Maynard, 5/24/12
Troubled
Waters
When I
began on my journey to find him, I looked anywhere n’ everywhere n’ still
couldn’t find it. I kept looking, still no luck. I felt like I was stuck, with
no-where to turn. I still couldn’t find it, even when I was searching with
everything I could. I was thinking “If I keep looking, I might find what I’m
looking for, it’s more likely that I don’t find it, though.” It took me 8 years
to finally locate it. When I finally found it, I felt better, because I could
stop looking. The water was much calmer, because I could relax n’ not think about
what bad things he could’ve done. © A
Maynard, 3/26/12
Touch
Of His Hand
I was
the complete opposite of a Christian, I was like that for many Years. I kept
the “faith” I was following for a total of 8 years. That time period really
changed how I thought. At first, I thought I was “caught up” doing the wrong
things, after a small bit of time, I realized what I was doing, n’ tried to
“fix” it. I couldn’t, because I didn’t know how to. After 8 years, I changed
into some that people could understand. That way, I would know what to say n’
what to do, without causing much confusion. Just the feeling of him being
around makes my day go more smoothly. When I can “feel” he’s around, I’m a
little calmer, because I can “feel” the touch of his hand, n’ that is the best
thing for me when I’m feeling bad, or stressed, or anything else. © A Maynard, 3/29/12
I'm Falling
I feel like i'm losing control of myself. It seems like someone else has control, n' i know who that other person is. It still feels like the devil has control. Now that my life has changed, i feel much better, like a weight has been lifted, n' my soul can be free once more. I
encountered a problem like that before. Once i got to that point, i met an old friend whose name is Lee. He showed me a simpler to ease the immense uncertainty i felt at the time. The problem was i didn't know where to go. My belief system is like a band of nomads, believing one minute, n' not the next.
Armageddon
I was living a lie. I couldn't ask myself why i was living this way.
I'm Falling
I feel like i'm losing control of myself. It seems like someone else has control, n' i know who that other person is. It still feels like the devil has control. Now that my life has changed, i feel much better, like a weight has been lifted, n' my soul can be free once more. I
encountered a problem like that before. Once i got to that point, i met an old friend whose name is Lee. He showed me a simpler to ease the immense uncertainty i felt at the time. The problem was i didn't know where to go. My belief system is like a band of nomads, believing one minute, n' not the next.
Armageddon
I was living a lie. I couldn't ask myself why i was living this way.
